These eyes stare back at me
Once so bright, so filled with life
Now left dull and empty
The light sucked from my soul
Into this mirror, my true reflection
Abyss of nothing, dark and cold
Icy shell to shield my broken,
bleeding heart
Watch as the pieces fall
One by one, tumbling down
Shattered dreams crumbling
to pile at my feet
Sweep them up
Try to reconstruct this facade
The mask of perfection
Never good enough
Never what they want
Paint on a pretty smile
To hide behind, fool them all
Don't let them see the truth
The pain behind these eyes
Emotionless and hollow
How can you be so blind?
Tears turn to dust upon these cheeks
Ashes in the wind, blowing free
Far, far away from this harsh
Cruel world....

Untitled 23

AN: Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself. I may feel suicidal, but it's nothing I would ever act upon, not really. I've tried to commit suicide before, but I always fail. And I'm sure I'll try again, but I can almost promise you that it will be unsuccessful. Anyway...on to the poem.

Letting go…
Of every dream I held so dear
Every reason to stay here
Slowly fades away
As darkness settles in
Steel my heart…
Detach from reality
No emotions, just numbness
All ties severed completely
Guiltless release…
Simply disappear
No tears left to shed
Becoming nothing
But a distant memory
The pain finally dissipating
Replaced with a cold, dark
Emptiness…
Peace only found when
This shattered heart stills
And this poisoned blood
Runs cold…
Whispering farewell
To the demons in my soul…
Finally free…

Untitled 22

Hurt me please, I beg of you
Make me feel something
For I fear I have gone numb
Clouds of dust replace the tears
That once flowed so freely
This heart, once full of life
Of hope and dreams
Has frozen, barely beating
Blood runs cold through
Fragile veins, no longer
Warming flesh and bone
I'm lost, somewhere in time
Caught between then and now
Unable to see through this darkness
Heavy shadow lingering around
Weighing me down until I crumble
...fall to pieces on the floor
Scattered and broken
No will to go on
Nothing more than a stone cold
Emotionless statue
One single tear etched deep
Into this lifeless soul...

Untitled 21 (This one is actually new!)

Crouched down among the ashes
The ruins of this shattered life
Hopes and dreams crumbled
Leaving cold emptiness in their wake
A dying heart, no longer beating
Frozen in time, the last glimmers of hope
Long since torn away, tossed aside
Crushed beneath the weight of this cruel world
Cursed to walk alone forever
Wandering aimlessly through now hollow halls
Voices, echoes of the past, ringing softly
Yet almost deafening to ears which cannot hear
Heavy silence in the air, stagnant and still
As tears run dry, leaving trails of crimson
Flaking against pale cheeks, lifeless
The lights extinguished long ago
The only comfort this darkness
Heavy shroud to hide the truth
Only lies to be left behind
Spilled from countless lips
Betrayal and mistrust, bury this heart
Never to be laid to rest...

Defeated

Defeated

Suffocating darkness, cold and deep
The blackness of my soul
Rape my heart and leave me bleeding
Writhing in agony on the floor
Selfish hatred feeds your needs
You’ll never see what you’ve done to me
The wounds run deep, forever bleeding
No hope to escape from this hell
Rip me open, tear me apart
Satisfy your eternal greed
Forever the saint, never the sinner
Pinning that burden on me
I was never more than a pawn in your game
Following blindly as you led me astray
Willingly letting you lock me away in a cage
Taming me, chaining me with your self-indulgence
Twisting reality to suit your needs
So that you could play the victim, gather sympathy
Leaving me to rot where I stand
Your lies breeding hate as they flow from my veins
Queen of deception, you play the part well
Your court filled with fools, bowing down at your feet
Casting me out, I submit my defeat
You’ve won, I’ve lost, now simply leave me be...

The Eternal Fool

The Eternal Fool

You play the saint, I play the fool
Around in circles we dance
This careless, endless game of cruelty
A cold deception behind your eyes
As you weave your web around me
Cocooning me with sweet lies
Yet I believe every word as truth
My heart laid bare before you
You bide your time and gain my trust
Spinning a fairytale of dreams
Enrapturing my soul with promises
Of a path out of the darkness
I pin my hopes to the tales you tell
Catching a glimpse of the light
Only to have it flicker and fade
When the web begins to unravel
Revealing the truth, the depths of deception
As your words turn sharp and cold
Tearing apart my delicate heart
And I stare in disbelief, tearful eyes
Watching the world crumble at my feet
Your silver tongue becomes rusted
Lashing out, cutting deep into my soul
Dreams bleeding out into a puddle beside me
The eternal fool, I believed your lies
As you smile, clearly satisfied
That I played your game, to my demise
Your bitterness and hatred my final undoing
As the illusion breaks and reality shines through
How could I have been so blinded?
How could I not see it was all a charade?
Drowning in the realization
That this was never more than a game...

Alone

Alone

Surrounded by familiar faces
And yet I stand alone
The shrouded one in a sea of light
Locked away in the shadows
As the world moves around me
Unable to reach out
To grasp some sort of comfort
Simply left to wonder why
How did I become the outcast?
The one so hopelessly lost?
Left to wander on my own
Searching for a way to go on
Tossed aside, forgotten by the world
Standing on my own two feet
Fighting to move forward
Through this maze of hopeless fears
Loneliness my only friend
Driving me on toward tomorrow
Learning to rely on no one
To live without a home
I am all that I have ever had
And yet the silence frightens me
Closing in, suffocating me
Drowning in my solitude
I drift away, lost forever more...

Letting Go

Letting Go

Dismiss the dreams
And break the chains
Time to let go of what was
Say goodbye to what we had
The future is not what it seemed

No sense in continuing
To chase the ghosts
Grasping at things that don’t exist
Nothing but a hopeless myth
A carefully woven illusion
Pulled over our eyes
Blinding to us to the truth
Leading us to believe in lies

No more hoping, no more plans
Just a dark, cold emptiness
A dismal farewell to broken promises
Nothing left to hold on to
Simply let go and fly away

No reason to wish for things to change
We’ve grown too far apart
Broken hearts cannot heal
As long as the knife is twisted
Time to move on, pull away
Say goodbye to yesterday
And live for the moment
Hoping for a better tomorrow

Letting go slowly
In time the pain will fade
Become simply a dull ache
As I watch you drift away
Out of reach, out of my life

You’re free…

Untitled 20

Even the most vivid of dreams
Is still only a dream…

One last moment
A single thought
Longing for what is lost
Just inside my mind
Yet too far away
To reach, to grasp

Suspended in the air…

Only a heavy silence
Words left unspoken
Make a one last wish
Blow a kiss to the wind
Shed one silent tear
Farewell in a whisper

Memories remain forever…

Always one step behind
Wishing for the future
Trapped in the past
Ignoring this moment
Watching life pass us by
While we whither

Lost in a daydream…

Untitled 19

Forever is not real
No fairytales exist
This world is made for heartbreak
And harsh, cold endings
Happily ever after
No more than a wish

Dreams will never come true
They only shatter and die
Littering the ground at our feet
Sad reminders of what could have been
Torn away by fate
And scorned by time

No turning back the clock
The past is written in stone
Can’t right the wrongs
Can’t heal the scars
They’ve cut too deep
Bleeding eternally

Destiny a cruel mistress
Playing games with our hearts and minds
Offering promises of the future
Only to reveal them as lies
A wicked twist of fate
Tearing souls apart

Farewell to hope
Goodbye to dreams
No more wishing on a star
I’ve given up the fight
Life wins, I lose
Now let me rest in peace…

Untitled 18

Sinking slowly in the quicksand of my mind
Trapped here, left behind
Unable to break free from these chains
Which choke me, binding me to the past
Watching, wide eyed and jealous
As everyone moves forward
The invisible girl, no longer needed
Forever unwanted
My pain is your poison
My existence your undoing
Run, run away
Fast and far, without looking back
I will simply fade into darkness
Disappear in the fabric of time
Knowing that your salvation
Lies in my demise…

The Shores of Dreamtide (WIP)

The Shores of Dreamtide

Tomorrow will not come, all hope is gone
Faded with the passage of time
Cut down by blades of harsh words
The Dreamer finally laid to rest
Eternal night without torment
No more blood to pour from her veins
Her life slowly flowing from old wounds
Deep silence forever more
Guarding her soul against the cold world
Soaring high above the pain
Angels' tears falling freely
As they welcome her with open arms
Back to innocence, a place where she is safe
To dream again of days long past
When the child in her still believed
That hope was worth fighting for...

Carried away by the waves
To the shores of Dreamtide
Her only escape now
From the cold, cruel world
The place where her reality
Finally meets fantasy
And she can live in peace
Dreaming in perfection…

Running free once more
Along the white sands
The beaches of her innocence
So long ago torn apart
Stolen and raped by the world
Left alone to suffer
And shed her silent tears
She returns once more
To the long lost days
Where her smile was real
No demons plaguing her mind
Before she was forced to decide
That hope was only an illusion
A false sense of security
A dark and twisted lie
Meant only to hurt and scar
The Dreamer’s innocent heart

She whispers softly through her tears…

“Soul’s light, black as night
Shrouded by shadows unseen
Fading, falling, coming apart
Unable to ever come clean
Sinking into sweet darkness
The cold nothingness within
Taking one deep final breath
And drowning with my sin…”

Succumbing to her fate
Eternal sinner, doomed to suffer
For all the wrongs she has done
Memories, once so sweet
Cut deeply, sharp knives in her soul
A smile long since faded
Suffocated by the agony she has suffered
Screaming out in desperation
Begging for death take hold
Ending her pain, setting her free
One final moment, one last cold tear
Before the curtain falls
Shrouded, she fades with a smile

Flying home…

“Sweet Dreamer,
Can you not see?
Your time is not over
There is no rest for the weary
And your fight carries on
Through the pain and the tears
There is such strength in your heart
Do not give up now
For I cannot allow you to stay
Though these shores will always be your home
You must return from whence you came.”

Untitled 17

Walk the razor’s edge
That fine line between
Pleasure and pain
Never knowing
Which way you’ll fall
When the wind blows
Only time will tell
What destiny may bring
Ecstasy on one side
Heartbreak on the other
No choice but to continue on
One small step at a time
Hoping and praying
That when you slip
Fate will be kind

Untitled 16

Empty words
Broken promises
Mouthfuls of lies
Assaulting my senses
Ripping at my heart
That cries out for the truth
For something meaningful
Something to hold on to
A light in the dark
To warm the cold, dead nights
Trapped in this cage
Of misconceptions
Longing to escape
To find something to hold to
A reason to live
No more deceptions
Desperate for honesty
To simply know what is real
Among the twisted reflections
And cruel misgivings
That this world presents
With a cold, unforgiving smile
Reality torn apart
By empty words
Broken promises
Sweet, beautiful lies…

Eternal Darkness

Eternal Darkness

Take me and break me
Rip open these scars
Watch me bleed before your eyes
Rubbing salt into the wounds
Screaming for mercy
As you tear me down
With no remorse
Leaving me broken
Heart shattered from your cruelty
My life in vain
Eternity knows nothing but sorrow
As you glare at me
Cold eyes piercing into my soul
Silently ridiculing all that I am
Begging for forgiveness
Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to deserve this agony?
Harsh words cutting deeply
Sharp blades against my skin
As you break the silence
Lashing out at me
Over and over again
Until I fall to my knees
Eyes pleading for you to stop
To let it end, once and for all
The long forgotten fairy tale
Finally laid to rest
You turn away, laughing
As my tears turn to dust
Succumbing to my fate
Of eternal darkness within

Untitled 15

Standing among the ruins
Of what was once my life
This pain will always linger
Long after the wounds are only scars
Searching for the answers
Where did it all go wrong?
When did I lose my way
Becoming so hopelessly lost?
The tides are always changing
A new day will soon dawn
But I will never be the same
Too many dreams torn apart
Promises broken, truths revealed as lies
The paradise I once foresaw
Is nothing but ashes now
Burned to the ground by flames of hatred
My soul ripped apart, left bleeding
On this altar of greed and fear
Sacrifice of innocence
Laid bare for lustful eyes
Take what you will, fulfill your needs
And leave me rotting, alone

Angel's Tears

Angel’s Tears

The Heavens are crying
Sweet angel’s tears
Falling to the Earth
To wash away our sins
Weeping over sorrows
No mortal soul can comprehend
Seeing the destruction
Left in mankind’s wake
Cleansing our hearts
Of all the pain and fear
Giving us another chance
To find our way back to innocence
Before hatred and greed
Overshadowed the love
We once held in our hearts
Cold rain to warm the empty souls
Which walk the wastelands
Of the place we once called home

Untitled 14

Falling
Faster and faster
Unable to stop
This descent into hell
Crash and burn
Without a sound
Lost forever
In the chill of the night
Darkness
My only friend
My bleeding heart
Crying out
For the light I lost
Tossed aside
Without a care
Without a thought
Selfish hatred
Feeding my greed
Until my soul is black
Mercy no more
Undeserving
Of even the slightest comfort
As I choke and die
On my own self-pity

Untitled 13

Sweet silence
Dark and deep
Capturing a moment
In between
Away from the lies
Harsh words
Sharp as knives
Broken promises
Haunting echoes
Creeping in
Ghosts of the past
Dreams unrealized
Torn apart
In the blink of an eye
Lost forever
In the changing of the tides
Swept away
By cruelty
Pain so real
It will never fade
Never dull
To just an ache
Lost in a moment
Longing for more
Whispering softly
Farewell…

Together

Together

Distance that kills
Like a knife to the heart
Twisting deeper and deeper
No relief from the pain
Except in my dreams
Where I can be in your arms
Wrapped in the safety
Of your warm embrace
So calm, so peaceful
Far from the weight
Of this cold, cruel world
Lost in your eyes
In your sweet, loving smile
Two souls eternally entwined
Soaring high above the Earth
Flying to our secret place
A realm where love alone exists
Stronger than anything else in this world
Holding us up when we are weak
Giving us strength to carry on
The songs of angels soaring high
Serenading us to paradise
Just you and me
Our hearts as one
Deep in the night
Where memories keep you near
Until I can be by your side
In the light of day
No longer crushed
By the miles
The slow passage of time
Simply bliss
Lost in you forever