Warning: Graphic contents.

Won't give him the satisfaction

Of seeing me cry…

Keep this pain a secret

Hold it in, bury it down deep

In the coffin of my blackened,

Broken soul…

Tears of acid stinging these

Bloodshot, down turned eyes

Once shining with hope and promise

Now dulled by shame, filth and disgust

Insistent, icy fingertips burning

My pale, flaking skin

Lips leaving poisonous trails

Upon flailing limbs…

And then, with one last, final cry

The world explodes in white hot agony

And the tears finally fall…

Betraying my very soul

As he simply laughs and ploughs on

Til the end…

With a promise to return again...

Leaving me to weep and rot alone...

...haha I couldn't sleep because of this!

Foolish child, can't you see?
You never will be rid of me
I'm in your head and in your heart
No magic salve to soothe your scars
Forever bound here by these ties
No one will ever hear your cries
Silenced now, under my spell
Give up, you've no more tales to tell
You try so hard to dull the pain
But in the end it's all in vain
My dear, sweet child, can't you see?
Your reflection in the mirror...
...is me.

I should title this...but yeah...

Hide beneath the surface
Suffocate the pain
Anger turning inward
Tears falling in vain

All the misplaced hatred
Burned into my mind
Keeps me chained here, watching
As the world leaves me behind

Screams of silence echo
Throughout this empty heart
Ghosts of the past cry out for justice
As I finally come apart

For so many years you kept me
A prisoner to your lies
Made me believe it was my fault
But now I see through your disguise

No longer will I bear the weight
This guilt belongs to you
One day, I swear, I’ll make you pay
For this Hell you’ve put me through

Very soon the tables will turn
And my soul will be set free
My demons unleashed upon you
Tormenting you for eternity

Now your screams fall upon deaf ears
As I ignore your cries
Soaring free among the stars
My salvation, your demise.

These eyes stare back at me
Once so bright, so filled with life
Now left dull and empty
The light sucked from my soul
Into this mirror, my true reflection
Abyss of nothing, dark and cold
Icy shell to shield my broken,
bleeding heart
Watch as the pieces fall
One by one, tumbling down
Shattered dreams crumbling
to pile at my feet
Sweep them up
Try to reconstruct this facade
The mask of perfection
Never good enough
Never what they want
Paint on a pretty smile
To hide behind, fool them all
Don't let them see the truth
The pain behind these eyes
Emotionless and hollow
How can you be so blind?
Tears turn to dust upon these cheeks
Ashes in the wind, blowing free
Far, far away from this harsh
Cruel world....

Untitled 23

AN: Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself. I may feel suicidal, but it's nothing I would ever act upon, not really. I've tried to commit suicide before, but I always fail. And I'm sure I'll try again, but I can almost promise you that it will be unsuccessful. Anyway...on to the poem.

Letting go…
Of every dream I held so dear
Every reason to stay here
Slowly fades away
As darkness settles in
Steel my heart…
Detach from reality
No emotions, just numbness
All ties severed completely
Guiltless release…
Simply disappear
No tears left to shed
Becoming nothing
But a distant memory
The pain finally dissipating
Replaced with a cold, dark
Emptiness…
Peace only found when
This shattered heart stills
And this poisoned blood
Runs cold…
Whispering farewell
To the demons in my soul…
Finally free…

Untitled 22

Hurt me please, I beg of you
Make me feel something
For I fear I have gone numb
Clouds of dust replace the tears
That once flowed so freely
This heart, once full of life
Of hope and dreams
Has frozen, barely beating
Blood runs cold through
Fragile veins, no longer
Warming flesh and bone
I'm lost, somewhere in time
Caught between then and now
Unable to see through this darkness
Heavy shadow lingering around
Weighing me down until I crumble
...fall to pieces on the floor
Scattered and broken
No will to go on
Nothing more than a stone cold
Emotionless statue
One single tear etched deep
Into this lifeless soul...

Untitled 21 (This one is actually new!)

Crouched down among the ashes
The ruins of this shattered life
Hopes and dreams crumbled
Leaving cold emptiness in their wake
A dying heart, no longer beating
Frozen in time, the last glimmers of hope
Long since torn away, tossed aside
Crushed beneath the weight of this cruel world
Cursed to walk alone forever
Wandering aimlessly through now hollow halls
Voices, echoes of the past, ringing softly
Yet almost deafening to ears which cannot hear
Heavy silence in the air, stagnant and still
As tears run dry, leaving trails of crimson
Flaking against pale cheeks, lifeless
The lights extinguished long ago
The only comfort this darkness
Heavy shroud to hide the truth
Only lies to be left behind
Spilled from countless lips
Betrayal and mistrust, bury this heart
Never to be laid to rest...

Defeated

Defeated

Suffocating darkness, cold and deep
The blackness of my soul
Rape my heart and leave me bleeding
Writhing in agony on the floor
Selfish hatred feeds your needs
You’ll never see what you’ve done to me
The wounds run deep, forever bleeding
No hope to escape from this hell
Rip me open, tear me apart
Satisfy your eternal greed
Forever the saint, never the sinner
Pinning that burden on me
I was never more than a pawn in your game
Following blindly as you led me astray
Willingly letting you lock me away in a cage
Taming me, chaining me with your self-indulgence
Twisting reality to suit your needs
So that you could play the victim, gather sympathy
Leaving me to rot where I stand
Your lies breeding hate as they flow from my veins
Queen of deception, you play the part well
Your court filled with fools, bowing down at your feet
Casting me out, I submit my defeat
You’ve won, I’ve lost, now simply leave me be...

The Eternal Fool

The Eternal Fool

You play the saint, I play the fool
Around in circles we dance
This careless, endless game of cruelty
A cold deception behind your eyes
As you weave your web around me
Cocooning me with sweet lies
Yet I believe every word as truth
My heart laid bare before you
You bide your time and gain my trust
Spinning a fairytale of dreams
Enrapturing my soul with promises
Of a path out of the darkness
I pin my hopes to the tales you tell
Catching a glimpse of the light
Only to have it flicker and fade
When the web begins to unravel
Revealing the truth, the depths of deception
As your words turn sharp and cold
Tearing apart my delicate heart
And I stare in disbelief, tearful eyes
Watching the world crumble at my feet
Your silver tongue becomes rusted
Lashing out, cutting deep into my soul
Dreams bleeding out into a puddle beside me
The eternal fool, I believed your lies
As you smile, clearly satisfied
That I played your game, to my demise
Your bitterness and hatred my final undoing
As the illusion breaks and reality shines through
How could I have been so blinded?
How could I not see it was all a charade?
Drowning in the realization
That this was never more than a game...

Alone

Alone

Surrounded by familiar faces
And yet I stand alone
The shrouded one in a sea of light
Locked away in the shadows
As the world moves around me
Unable to reach out
To grasp some sort of comfort
Simply left to wonder why
How did I become the outcast?
The one so hopelessly lost?
Left to wander on my own
Searching for a way to go on
Tossed aside, forgotten by the world
Standing on my own two feet
Fighting to move forward
Through this maze of hopeless fears
Loneliness my only friend
Driving me on toward tomorrow
Learning to rely on no one
To live without a home
I am all that I have ever had
And yet the silence frightens me
Closing in, suffocating me
Drowning in my solitude
I drift away, lost forever more...

Letting Go

Letting Go

Dismiss the dreams
And break the chains
Time to let go of what was
Say goodbye to what we had
The future is not what it seemed

No sense in continuing
To chase the ghosts
Grasping at things that don’t exist
Nothing but a hopeless myth
A carefully woven illusion
Pulled over our eyes
Blinding to us to the truth
Leading us to believe in lies

No more hoping, no more plans
Just a dark, cold emptiness
A dismal farewell to broken promises
Nothing left to hold on to
Simply let go and fly away

No reason to wish for things to change
We’ve grown too far apart
Broken hearts cannot heal
As long as the knife is twisted
Time to move on, pull away
Say goodbye to yesterday
And live for the moment
Hoping for a better tomorrow

Letting go slowly
In time the pain will fade
Become simply a dull ache
As I watch you drift away
Out of reach, out of my life

You’re free…

Untitled 20

Even the most vivid of dreams
Is still only a dream…

One last moment
A single thought
Longing for what is lost
Just inside my mind
Yet too far away
To reach, to grasp

Suspended in the air…

Only a heavy silence
Words left unspoken
Make a one last wish
Blow a kiss to the wind
Shed one silent tear
Farewell in a whisper

Memories remain forever…

Always one step behind
Wishing for the future
Trapped in the past
Ignoring this moment
Watching life pass us by
While we whither

Lost in a daydream…

Untitled 19

Forever is not real
No fairytales exist
This world is made for heartbreak
And harsh, cold endings
Happily ever after
No more than a wish

Dreams will never come true
They only shatter and die
Littering the ground at our feet
Sad reminders of what could have been
Torn away by fate
And scorned by time

No turning back the clock
The past is written in stone
Can’t right the wrongs
Can’t heal the scars
They’ve cut too deep
Bleeding eternally

Destiny a cruel mistress
Playing games with our hearts and minds
Offering promises of the future
Only to reveal them as lies
A wicked twist of fate
Tearing souls apart

Farewell to hope
Goodbye to dreams
No more wishing on a star
I’ve given up the fight
Life wins, I lose
Now let me rest in peace…

Untitled 18

Sinking slowly in the quicksand of my mind
Trapped here, left behind
Unable to break free from these chains
Which choke me, binding me to the past
Watching, wide eyed and jealous
As everyone moves forward
The invisible girl, no longer needed
Forever unwanted
My pain is your poison
My existence your undoing
Run, run away
Fast and far, without looking back
I will simply fade into darkness
Disappear in the fabric of time
Knowing that your salvation
Lies in my demise…

The Shores of Dreamtide (WIP)

The Shores of Dreamtide

Tomorrow will not come, all hope is gone
Faded with the passage of time
Cut down by blades of harsh words
The Dreamer finally laid to rest
Eternal night without torment
No more blood to pour from her veins
Her life slowly flowing from old wounds
Deep silence forever more
Guarding her soul against the cold world
Soaring high above the pain
Angels' tears falling freely
As they welcome her with open arms
Back to innocence, a place where she is safe
To dream again of days long past
When the child in her still believed
That hope was worth fighting for...

Carried away by the waves
To the shores of Dreamtide
Her only escape now
From the cold, cruel world
The place where her reality
Finally meets fantasy
And she can live in peace
Dreaming in perfection…

Running free once more
Along the white sands
The beaches of her innocence
So long ago torn apart
Stolen and raped by the world
Left alone to suffer
And shed her silent tears
She returns once more
To the long lost days
Where her smile was real
No demons plaguing her mind
Before she was forced to decide
That hope was only an illusion
A false sense of security
A dark and twisted lie
Meant only to hurt and scar
The Dreamer’s innocent heart

She whispers softly through her tears…

“Soul’s light, black as night
Shrouded by shadows unseen
Fading, falling, coming apart
Unable to ever come clean
Sinking into sweet darkness
The cold nothingness within
Taking one deep final breath
And drowning with my sin…”

Succumbing to her fate
Eternal sinner, doomed to suffer
For all the wrongs she has done
Memories, once so sweet
Cut deeply, sharp knives in her soul
A smile long since faded
Suffocated by the agony she has suffered
Screaming out in desperation
Begging for death take hold
Ending her pain, setting her free
One final moment, one last cold tear
Before the curtain falls
Shrouded, she fades with a smile

Flying home…

“Sweet Dreamer,
Can you not see?
Your time is not over
There is no rest for the weary
And your fight carries on
Through the pain and the tears
There is such strength in your heart
Do not give up now
For I cannot allow you to stay
Though these shores will always be your home
You must return from whence you came.”

Untitled 17

Walk the razor’s edge
That fine line between
Pleasure and pain
Never knowing
Which way you’ll fall
When the wind blows
Only time will tell
What destiny may bring
Ecstasy on one side
Heartbreak on the other
No choice but to continue on
One small step at a time
Hoping and praying
That when you slip
Fate will be kind

Untitled 16

Empty words
Broken promises
Mouthfuls of lies
Assaulting my senses
Ripping at my heart
That cries out for the truth
For something meaningful
Something to hold on to
A light in the dark
To warm the cold, dead nights
Trapped in this cage
Of misconceptions
Longing to escape
To find something to hold to
A reason to live
No more deceptions
Desperate for honesty
To simply know what is real
Among the twisted reflections
And cruel misgivings
That this world presents
With a cold, unforgiving smile
Reality torn apart
By empty words
Broken promises
Sweet, beautiful lies…

Eternal Darkness

Eternal Darkness

Take me and break me
Rip open these scars
Watch me bleed before your eyes
Rubbing salt into the wounds
Screaming for mercy
As you tear me down
With no remorse
Leaving me broken
Heart shattered from your cruelty
My life in vain
Eternity knows nothing but sorrow
As you glare at me
Cold eyes piercing into my soul
Silently ridiculing all that I am
Begging for forgiveness
Where did I go wrong?
What did I do to deserve this agony?
Harsh words cutting deeply
Sharp blades against my skin
As you break the silence
Lashing out at me
Over and over again
Until I fall to my knees
Eyes pleading for you to stop
To let it end, once and for all
The long forgotten fairy tale
Finally laid to rest
You turn away, laughing
As my tears turn to dust
Succumbing to my fate
Of eternal darkness within

Untitled 15

Standing among the ruins
Of what was once my life
This pain will always linger
Long after the wounds are only scars
Searching for the answers
Where did it all go wrong?
When did I lose my way
Becoming so hopelessly lost?
The tides are always changing
A new day will soon dawn
But I will never be the same
Too many dreams torn apart
Promises broken, truths revealed as lies
The paradise I once foresaw
Is nothing but ashes now
Burned to the ground by flames of hatred
My soul ripped apart, left bleeding
On this altar of greed and fear
Sacrifice of innocence
Laid bare for lustful eyes
Take what you will, fulfill your needs
And leave me rotting, alone

Angel's Tears

Angel’s Tears

The Heavens are crying
Sweet angel’s tears
Falling to the Earth
To wash away our sins
Weeping over sorrows
No mortal soul can comprehend
Seeing the destruction
Left in mankind’s wake
Cleansing our hearts
Of all the pain and fear
Giving us another chance
To find our way back to innocence
Before hatred and greed
Overshadowed the love
We once held in our hearts
Cold rain to warm the empty souls
Which walk the wastelands
Of the place we once called home

Untitled 14

Falling
Faster and faster
Unable to stop
This descent into hell
Crash and burn
Without a sound
Lost forever
In the chill of the night
Darkness
My only friend
My bleeding heart
Crying out
For the light I lost
Tossed aside
Without a care
Without a thought
Selfish hatred
Feeding my greed
Until my soul is black
Mercy no more
Undeserving
Of even the slightest comfort
As I choke and die
On my own self-pity

Untitled 13

Sweet silence
Dark and deep
Capturing a moment
In between
Away from the lies
Harsh words
Sharp as knives
Broken promises
Haunting echoes
Creeping in
Ghosts of the past
Dreams unrealized
Torn apart
In the blink of an eye
Lost forever
In the changing of the tides
Swept away
By cruelty
Pain so real
It will never fade
Never dull
To just an ache
Lost in a moment
Longing for more
Whispering softly
Farewell…

Together

Together

Distance that kills
Like a knife to the heart
Twisting deeper and deeper
No relief from the pain
Except in my dreams
Where I can be in your arms
Wrapped in the safety
Of your warm embrace
So calm, so peaceful
Far from the weight
Of this cold, cruel world
Lost in your eyes
In your sweet, loving smile
Two souls eternally entwined
Soaring high above the Earth
Flying to our secret place
A realm where love alone exists
Stronger than anything else in this world
Holding us up when we are weak
Giving us strength to carry on
The songs of angels soaring high
Serenading us to paradise
Just you and me
Our hearts as one
Deep in the night
Where memories keep you near
Until I can be by your side
In the light of day
No longer crushed
By the miles
The slow passage of time
Simply bliss
Lost in you forever

Innocent No More

Innocent No More

Take me apart and break me down
Shatter me into a thousand pieces
Rape my body, taint my soul
Rip the innocence from my heart
Replace it with deep, cold darkness
A broken spirit forevermore
Drifting on a sea of tears
That you created with your hate
No regard for my humanity
You simply took what wasn’t yours
Your greedy lust, my disgrace
Cruelty beyond words
Beyond comprehension
Heinous actions with repercussions
You will never see
The tattered remains of my life
You took what you wanted
And walked away
Leaving me bleeding, crying
Innocent angel, torn asunder
Fighting to find my way out
Of the prison you’ve locked around my heart
Did you take the key with you
When you smiled cruelly
And walked away from me?
Leaving me sobbing, shaking with fear
Innocent no more, nothing but your whore
Reaching desperately for a single shred
Of the girl I once was

Puppet

Puppet

No longer human
Just wood and strings
Ready to do your bidding
Sacrificing all that I am
So that you can feel powerful
Pull the strings
And make me dance
Make me your perfect possession
It won't matter if I die inside
If you kill my soul with your greed
Strangle me on my own strings
The perfect toy
Manipulate me, rape my mind
Take away the essence of who I am
You don't care
As long as I am obedient
Dreamer locked away
In a cage of cold steel
Breathing for you
Thinking only what you tell me
Free spirit drowned by control
Just a shell, your puppet girl
Doing all you ask
Bid my blood to run cold
As I fade away, nothing but a shell

Time

Time

Time passes by without rhyme or reason
So slowly when you’re waiting
Too fast when you’re where you want to be
The essence of everything
Sands falling through the hourglass
Seconds of your life ticking away
Almost without noticing
A single breath, a single tear
Our lives barely a scratch
On the enormity of time
Minutes filled with laughter
Hours of sorrow, fear
Days of trying to find what’s right
Wishing time would pass by
Years of searching for that one place
That one moment in it all
When you can be at peace, serene
Content that your life is complete
Do we ever stop to see what’s happening now?
Or do we spend too much time longing
For this moment to pass
To see what’s on the other side
While our lives slip away before our eyes
Never understanding
That time is all we have…

Untitled 12

There are no words to explain
The weight of my world
No way to express
The pain in my heart
Like a knife, stabbing, twisting
Until my blood runs cold
No way to convey
The blackness I see
In this world, all around
Covering me in shadows
Forcing me to disappear
Fade into nothing
All I was all along
Nothing worth living for
Nothing worth dying for
Just a ghost, nameless, faceless
Another silent tragedy

Broken Angel

Broken Angel

She spreads her wings and learns to fly
Soaring through the midnight sky
Staring down at the sleeping world
Escaping to where her dreams unfurl
Clinging to the hope she’s almost lost
Fighting her way back at any cost

Broken angel, tattered and torn
Praying to heaven she’ll be reborn
Carried away from of all her pain
Given a chance to begin again
To redeem herself and find a way
To live on through another day
Letting go of all her fears
Seeing clearly through the tears

She spreads her wings and learns to fly
Chasing after the reason why
Why her dreams are torn apart
Why this weight is in her heart
Flying to the starlit night
Trying so hard to carry on this fight

Broken angel, bleeding and numb
So afraid of what is yet to come
Wishing the darkness would fade away
Desperately searching for a reason to stay
Feeling so lost, she doesn’t belong
Wondering where it all went wrong
Longing just to be set free
To finally realize all she can be

She spreads her wings and learns to fly
Soaring through the midnight sky
Broken angel, tattered and torn
Praying to Heaven she’ll be reborn

Cold

Cold
So cold
Black hole
Bottomless
Settled on my heart
So numb
Yet so painful
Sinking slowly
Into the abyss
Of nothing
Nothing and nowhere
Timeless
Faceless
Emotionless
Just a shadow
Of no substance
Drifting in a sea
Of shattered hope
And broken dreams
Falling
Nothing to hold on to
Just darkness
Cold
And numb
Dead inside
No more life
Just nothing…

Sick

Sick

Sick on the outside
Sick within
Sickness breeding
Under my skin
No way around it
No way to escape
I am this sickness
Disease is my fate
Everything I touch
Eventually turns to dust
As the sickness spreads
Nothing but rust
A deep corruption
Seeping into my soul
Running rampant
Out of control
Killing me slowly
I finally give in
Give up the fight
I had no hope to win
Sick on the outside
Sick within
Dying slowly
No defense for this sin
No cure for the weary
No escape from the pain
The sickness takes over
And my heart dies once again

Untitled 11

Slowly drowning
Gasping for air
But unable to break the surface
Suffocating on my own
Insecurities
And doubts
Choking on
The fear
That has a death grip
On my heart
My soul
Unable to breathe
To find the air
The will to live
Fade to darkness
Die alive
To be reborn
And try again
Fighting forever
To claim the light

Untitled 10

Hold me awhile
Until the pain subsides
Until the darkness passes
And the light shines through again
Lend me your strength
Steal away the weakness
And give me wings to fly
Far above the trials
Of this daily life
The fears and doubts
The insecurities
Make them fade to nothing
As you stare into my eyes
Finally able to see the truth
The reality behind the curtain
Hidden for so long
Now shining brightly
Slowly revealing
What I knew all along
No longer hidden
By the shadows of the world
It’s clear as day
That what I need
Was always right in front of me
In you…

"Happy Easter"-A Poem in Memoriam

Sun shining brightly
As the world begins to bloom
Bringing new life and hope
Taking me back to years gone by
When the magic was still there
Still alive in my heart
Frilly pink dresses
Chasing treasures on a string
The scent of fresh baked muffins
Hanging in the air
Brightly colored eggs
Scattered throughout the lawn
Each one containing some small gift
Sweet sugary treats
Before sitting down to breakfast
Surrounded by love, family
The warmth that comes
From knowing you belong
Baskets filled with wonder
“Should I eat the bunny’s head first?”
So much laughter
Replaced now with a wistful sigh
A single tear
Longing for that simpler time
Before it was all lost
Memories fill my heart
Whispering “Happy Easter”
To an angel in the heavens…

Untitled 9

Falling into you
Headfirst, blindly
Two hearts meld into one
Captivated by your eyes
Staring into your soul
Held there, mesmerized
Lost in your touch
Your kisses
This moment
Eternal bliss
Wrapped up in you
The world disappears
It is only us
Our love
One perfect second
Captured for all time
In our hearts and minds
Sweet memories
Give hope for what’s to come
When once again
I fall into your arms
Back where I belong
Warm and safe

Untitled 8

Deep inside your heart
Through all the darkness and the pain
I am always there
Calling out your name
In the bitter cold
And the pouring rain
I’m never far away
With you in spirit
Every day of your life
Distance may separate us
But my soul lives in you
Always by your side
Guiding you, pulling you through
Holding your hand
My love, your light
Your life, my world
I will stay by your side
For eternity and beyond
Stealing away your pain
Protecting you with my life
Hold on to me
And never let go
I’m right there beside you
Forevermore…

Untitled 7

Fallen from grace
Straight into Hell
Scorching my wings
When I attempt to fly away
Back to the Heaven I once called my own
To the life where I could smile
Even though the tears were there
Locked inside this pain
No escape from the maze
Darkness surrounding me
Casting shadows over my soul
A hopeless endeavor
Lost dreams, torn apart
Crimson rivers flow
As old wounds are ripped open once more
My bleeding heart
Cries silently
Chasing the ghosts
Longing to be set free…

Untitled 6

Cut me down
Tear out my heart
It’s useless to me now
No shred of hope
No light in the dark
No end to the pain in sight

The world falls apart
Crumbles down around me
It’s all a futile game
No hope to win
No reason to fight
No way to turn it around

Scars reopen
Old wounds bleed
Spilling my life on the floor
No tomorrow
No future
No time to mend my shattered soul

Bruised and broken
Slowly gathering the pieces
Fitting them back together
Always trying
Always forward
Always continuing to fight…

Untitled 5

The distant call
From voices so far away
Longing to return
To the place where I once was
Cast out
Banished
Without a reason why
Searching for a way back
To break the chains
Binding me here
Against my will
Spread my wings
And fly back home
To where I belong

Black and White

Black and White

Black on one side
White on the other
No one seems to realize
There is a world between the lines
Shades of grey
The dreamer’s playground
Where right and wrong blur
And the possibilities are endless
Black and white, so absolute
No room to question reality
To ask “What if?”
And see the truth
There is no one way
No single path
The lines are vague
Good and evil skewed
Consciousness exists in the grey
The area in between
Where black and white lose their power
Their control over social morality
And we are simply allowed to exist
Without conformity
Human emotions cannot fit
Into a simple little box
Cannot be explained in black and white
They are the epitome of grey
Where right and wrong collide
And the heart is left to decide for itself
Against all odds
Disregarding society’s norms
And embracing the uncertainty of tomorrow

Untitled 4

Scorned by fate
Forgotten by time
Left behind, lost and alone
Terrified of the possibilities
Endless choices to be made
Destiny awaits with open arms
Choose your path at the fork in the road
Ever forward, never looking back
Staking claim to what is owed
Life's cruel games played out in full
Fighting to win, dying to lose
Resolution comes with a heavy price
As the Gods look on
Deciding a victor without thoughts of wrong and right

Untitled 3

Running until you're out of breath
Headfirst into the unknown
Without direction, but not without cause
Searching for the missing pieces
Lost parts of the whole
Heartache burning white hot, never ending
The only cure just out of reach
A spark of light in the blinding darkness
Calling out with the promise of sweet relief
Guiding lost souls back from their wanderings
To the safe familiarity of longing
Wading through the passage of time
For the tides to turn in our favor
And begin the long journey home

Untitled 2

Wishing away the long, cold days
The distance between here and there
One heart, one soul, torn apart
By miles and lies and hatred
The truth struggles to the surface
A flower, reaching for the sunlight
Pushing through the cracks left behind
By the pouring rain, beating down
Washing away the desire to fight
When it all comes apart at your feet
Suffocating any shred of hope
In a landslide of distrust and sorrow
Willing the clouds to part, only for a moment
Allowing the sky to peek through
Or begging the earth to open up
Swallow you whole and end the pain
If only to bring peace of mind…
But it never ends

Heaven's Gate

Heaven’s Gate

A lover’s heart, a poet’s dream
This world is not made for such things
So calculating and cold
Stifling the soul with darkness
Cutting angel’s wings before they can fly
Cruel reality seeps in
Draining the spirit of all hope
Misunderstood at every turn
The dreamer lost in a sea of hate
Reaching out for something more
A kindred spirit, understanding
Searching, longing, for the loneliness to end
To find somewhere dreams come true
A single ray of light piercing the blinding dark
Calling over screams of thunder
Setting free all hearts’ desires
To soar through time and space
Weightless among the stars
Unbound by the laws of men and Gods alike
Claiming blissful eternity at Heaven’s gate

Passion's Wrath

Passion’s Wrath

Fan the flames of passion's wrath
A raging inferno deep within my soul
Painful longing, burning in my heart
Aching for his touch, his lips, his voice
Like a knife piercing into my very core
Twisting deeper until I am driven to distraction
Craving his sweetness, the intoxication
Wishing reality away as he fills my senses
Bit by bit, taking over every part of me
Wanton desire seeps into my blood
Flowing through my veins like wildfire
Threatening to explode from the inside out
As his presence consumes me
Losing control, lost in him, this moment
Carried away by the tide of bliss
Torrential storm crashing inside my mind
Clinging to him in desperation, holding tight
Drawing him in with every breath I take
Reaching for something more, higher ground
Searing flames burning hot as the sun
Compelling and willing all rationality away
A candle lit at both ends, we collide somewhere in between
Where time stands still, and space is nonexistent
The wrath of passion draws us in
Entombed together, two hearts beating as one
Until eternity fades away into nothing
Setting our souls free to soar among the stars

The Great Pretender

The Great Pretender

The world outside will never see
What's truly buried deep inside of me
I am the Great Pretender
And all they will ever know is my lies

This facade is part of me now
Behind it I hide
Safe from harm
No one knows the pain I hold
Inside my heart and mind
Even if I showed them
They would never understand
This is who they want me to be
The perfect girl with the perfect smile

The world outside will never see
What's truly buried deep inside of me
I am the Great Pretender
And they will never know what I hide

Would it make a difference, even if I tried?
They don't want to see the truth
So comfortable in their house of cards
They don't realize it could all tumble down
In a heartbeat
If I removed the mask
And showed them even half the truth
Half of who I really am

The world outside will never see
What's truly buried deep inside of me
I am the Great Pretender
And all they will ever know is my lies

Exhausted by this charade
But is there really another way?
Sometimes I can't even tell what's real
From what I've fabricated all this time
Maybe this is all I am
All I was ever meant to be
An empty shell, a living corpse
Only pretending to be free...

Untitled 1

Untitled

Only a whisper
Nothing more
Carried on the wind
Blown away
Just a shadow
Lost in the darkness
Unimportant
And forgotten
Cast aside
Abandoned
No more hope
Only sorrow
Submit to defeat
And fade awake
Weakness wins
As strength fades
The will to go on
Snatched cruelly away
No redemption
Undeserving
Torn and tainted
Broken down soul
Hiding from mercy
Without a reason
Slipping
Falling
Into blackness
Eternal...

Marionette

Marionette

You control my every move
Like a puppet on a string
Forced to do your bidding
Your wish is my command
I've lost my will to fight you
Now I just play along
Bend me, break me
It's all up to you
My life is not my own
Fearing every movement
Every minute some new pain
Just like a toy, you play with me
And play me for a fool
I wish these strings would snap
And set this puppet free
But you're too strong
And I'm too far gone
My life is yours to keep
So make me dance
Do all you ask
Torture me and laugh
Your plaything cannot stop you
You have complete control
Twisted and broken
No tears will fall
Because toys cannot cry
And you have made me
Your personal slave
Your own human marionette

Welcome

In light of the fact that my poetry seems to be getting buried over at my regular blog, The Shores of Dreamtide, I have decided to create a separate blog for my poetry. This may seem a bit pretentious, but I would like to allow people to read my work without having to wade through scads of my more "personal" entries in order to find it. And so, Symphonies of Suffering is born.

Over the next couple of days/weeks I will be posting all the poetry that I have written to date, and then hopefully from going back and reading all the old stuff, my inspiration will return to me and I'll be able to write some new pieces.

Enjoy, and by all means, leave comments. I'm more than open to constructive criticism.